When I was living in UK, I was often amazed by the prettiness of those topless girls on the page 3 of newspapers like the Sun, by the perfection of their boobs, of their skin, their angel face.
I could not really see a difference between them all.
If I would have been a classical hetero man, any of those women would have been Christmas for me.
I do not feel attracted with women but I can admire their beauty even if on my side it is not sexual which I regret. To be bisexual might be great, to be able to warm up with a woman, to forget about men with a woman, to not always have to count on guys might be really pleasant.
However, as heterosexual, I can count only on a man to make me forget about another man. And it is like an endless circle as men are men. You always wish to have found someone different but at the end a man is man, and you have to deal with it.
I am exploring a new country and in this country I find so many women incredibly pretty. I could not tell the difference between this one or this one between all those beauties. They all have very long beautiful hair, beautiful face, beautiful legs, beautiful smile.
I could not tell the difference between them all. They are all the same to me, representing grace and sensuality.
On an other hand, I did not notice one single man for his special beauty or seduction. So I had not been really tempted. The only one I met, might have tried a little to make a step on my side, but I did not take the opportunity as he was married.
But if I would be a man, how many women would have tried to seduce during those last 3 weeks? How many would I have maybe succeeded to bed? How could I have not become a little disturbed?
Men are unfaithful because so many women are beautiful.
And the worse is that those girls are often as beautiful inside as outside. Being romantic, sensitive, easily hurt, easily attached, easily emotional, easily possessive and jealous, as so easily dependant on the man they fall in love with so easily. Women are from Venus, beauty and love.
On the opposite those men from Mars, are warriors. Had always been warriors for thousands of years. Having to defend their tribes, their families, having to hunt, having to kill, having to be tough to survive on the battle fields, having always to dominate their fears, to control their desire, tempers.
Now they are often just stuck on some violent video games. They are lost.
Their ability to fight is often badly seen.
Even if not a long time ago, and still today in some countries, a fighter could save your life (or destroy it).
So here I am. Not understanding how men could possibly be faithful especially when they have 10 times more testosterone than women. A woman level of testosterone the hormone of sexual desire and aggressiveness climb at a maximum of 300 when it is 3000 for a young man. On the top women have female hormones that men don’t have at all. Those female hormones influence on their mood, making them so emotional and sensitive.
You will tell me about this or this woman being interested in money, security, etc.
I do not deny that those women exist but I never meet them.
I had a dog 3 years ago, I loved that dog. He was important in my life. He was my little companion following me everywhere, sharing my days, my travels, in a little blue bag that he enjoyed so much. At that time, I could take the plane 3 times a day with him, and he would always be happy, in a good mood, relax. Satisfied to share my life. Loving the different hotel rooms. And easily bored when we would stay too long in the same place. I hated to have to leave him behind me, however I was always lucky to find loving people to take good care of him. When he died he was already 8 years old so he might have been dead today anyway.
When I had to leave my dog somewhere, the paid people in charge or my devoted friends volunteering to help me, would always tell me how much my dog would miss me.
I always answered them, Oh no, my dog is like my lovers, pathologically unfaithful. My dog will forget about me quickly, will jump happily on someone else knees, will show as much love for any nice stranger than for myself.
And it was true. My dog would forget about me so easily that some people in charge assumed that I was not treating him well. I do not think it was the case. My dog was an easy catch. He loved easily. Jumping joyfully on any postman passing by.
Some dogs bite, mine was just crazy happy for any new face he could meet on his way. Some people do have depressed dogs, dependant on them and only on them, having only one master. Never had this kind of dogs. My dogs had always been over extrovert with total strangers.
However when my dog died, he came to visit me instantly, explaining me about his death, sending me all his love. Nobody had informed me about his death. I did not know why he was coming to visit me, assumed it was an extra body experience.
I nearly took him in my arms, nearly cuddled him, and cried, asking him to forgive me to have left him at this place, promising him to come back urgently as he was sending me freaky images that I could not understand clearly and in the same time sending me all his joyful tenderness, he seemed so happy to see me again, to be able to visit me. I told him how much I loved him and missed him.
When I had been informed that he passed away that same night he visited me, I realized how much my dog had always been faithful to me, had always loved me, much deeper than I thought and that at least I was important to him.
To be followed maybe or maybe not as my ideas on the topic are pretty confused.
I don’t know exactly why but this little girl from Irak popped in my mind after having read this article a last time.
I was visiting her parents two years ago, her father had been Captain in the army of Saddam Hussein which has nothing to do with the subject but well, it was the case, could not believe such a sweet man could have had this kind of activities in his past, mystery of life.
She was lovely and was around 6 years old. Her father was my landlord and so she was my little neighbor, living in the same building.
Since the very first time I came in her house, she would tell me; I love you, I love you
It was really weird as later on I would bring her some games and toys but at that time, I really did not know her at all.
So I asked her, kidding her a little; but how can you love so much somebody you do not know at all, maybe I am not so nice after all.
She looked at me as if I was a total moron, and answered me back coldly; I always love beautiful people.
Well I do not pretend to be beautiful for real, but in her eyes I guess I was.
And maybe it is what it is all about at the end.
We easily love beautiful people.