I named this blog Couchsurfing memories and in the same time Cannibal islands two years ago even if in fact, I nearly did not talk at all about Couchsurfing.
After 2 years using Couchsurfing, this simple words Cannibal islands resumes perfectly my feeling as a woman using Couchsurfing.
It is unfair to say that the experience had been bad all the time, as I met so many rare and wonderful friends, it has opened my mind. Couchsurfing and Hospex sites are as much important for me as the humanitarian associations are.
And in those humanitarian associations it is the same, it can be the big mess.
A friend volunteered for the Red Cross and told me how sad he had been to have his superior acting in a very racist way, it was in Afghanistan. He came back disgusted, made a report but the guy remained in place because protected.
I had covered the fees University for 4 years for a young Ethiopian man who had been raped by a volunteer at Terre des Hommes, a charity organization. I respected Terre des hommes and pedophilia is not something you can pretend to be protected from. But the way they handled the situation was awful. They gave 1000 USD to each child, no therapy if I remember well, those kids had been left alone and they obtained this poor amount after some white people in place hired a lawyer and fought for years to have those low compensations being paid. http://www.swissinfo.ch/fre/terre-des-hommes-victime-d-un-vieux-scandale/1607548 I read now this article and discover other scandals in India. I guess in the two cases the rapists were white men and the victims young Indian children. I have to check it but I guess it is the problem. In Ethiopia the rapist was a white English teacher.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terre_des_hommes I contacted at that time Mr Jill Campbell who was a hero to me.
So I could not help the 20 children having been raped who were at that time starting university. I started to cover for one year University to study psychology for a young man who had been referred to me for his seriousness, and after he changed his mind and graduated in law.
However, the last month he was mad at me because I did not buy him something, had not been really grateful, never gave me any news after that. I had covered the price of the books, the University fees, the mobile phone and a lot of other stuff, and that month I was really struggling not being able to pay for something else.
He did not thank me at all, just vanished, however, he really graduated.
I never met him in real life.
I think I have lost his email, I do not know what happened to him.
The same kind of troubles occurred when I decided to help a doctor who gave all his money in Tibet. He was a young American doctor and I decided to sell pashmina shawls to help him. I sold hundred. I met an American Buddhist monk in Katmandu who had told me about this doctor’s situation. I came back a few times in Nepal to buy those shawls. I was coming back from Tibet and had been petrified of the situation of the Tibetans, Lhassa having been destroyed at 80% at that time, 90% now, 300 Tibetan monks having been killed with a machine gun in their temple six months before I visited it and 300 being jailed and tortured, most of them certainly dead as well. The temple was empty when I visited it, and on the Tibetan paintings, the face of Mao had been painted over.
Unfortunately, the young doctor seemed mad at me, and accused me of being responsible for the death of tortured goats. He did not seem to know the difference between pashminas made with silk and cashmere wool and shahtoosh made with those rare goats, it is forbidden to sell those shahtoosh I never bought one and would not have risked to be jailed in my country to sell them just to help a doctor working in Tibet plus I am vegetarian anyway since always. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shahtoosh
With the money I made from those pashminas I helped as well a friend from Rwanda, who asked me the money urgently to save some children from her country, she was a respected social worker, I gave her 5000 USD, she disappeared with the money. Never knew what happened. She laughed on the phone when I asked her if she gave it or not, 6 months after she still had not given it when she had told me it was an emergency.
I helped other people with this money that I raised from my pashminas but had not really been thanked. I gave 100% percent of the money and gave money of my own pocket in the all process.
But the life is sending you back and I meet so often great people.
There is the will for idealism, and there is the reality behind.
Couchsurfing and Hospex communities are for me a real shift in the world where we do live.
Those hospitality websites are important on a social level, they do have the power to change the way we look at a community.
However, the little devils, that are sex, money and other stuff, will always try the most they can to destroy the idea.
How can we prevent those things to happen?
We cannot. We will never prevent negativity to exist until the all humanity would be transmuted in an illuminated monk or something equivalent. We are not saints, that is the point.
And some saints ideas can be distorted and even destroyed.
However it is not because some rotten people do exist in the Red Cross that the Red Cross or the humanitarian activities should be stopped. It is not because Terre des hommes has fucked up that the all idea of Terre des hommes is fucked up.
I remember having read an article about Sathya Sai Baba who had been accused of having sexually abused a lot of young boys. I was astonished and curious to know the truth when I met a short time after having read the article called Sai Baba et les 40 violés (in French, voleur thief and one who had been raped violé), a man working in a holistic shop.
I asked him what he thought about the article which had been written in a holistic magazine he was selling.
He answered me that his parents took him to Sai Baba when he was 14 years old, and that Sai Baba pretending to open up his first chakra, gave him a blow job or something like that.
He had been shocked and kept him for himself for long.
It is not easy to talk about the Red Cross problems with people working at the Red Cross.
It is not easy working at Terre des hommes to admit there are rapists and that the compensations had been a joke.
It is not easy to admire Sai Baba and to accept the idea of Sai Baba giving blow jobs to young kids.
It is not easy for me for example to observe Obama being in power for so long now and to observe he nearly did not change anything for the black people waiting in the death corridor, without any DNA tests having been done, when we know that in United States everything is about having or not the power to hire an expensive lawyer. http://www.lejdd.fr/Societe/Dupond-Moretti-sur-l-affaire-Jacques-Maire-La-prescription-a-un-sens-de-pacification-sociale-651349 this lawyer named Acquitator is of course against the idea to reopen the files.
Obama did not change that. It would have been so easy and so cheap, to say, Ok guys, all the people waiting in the death corridor will have the right to get the most DNA tests they can, automatically, when now you need to have free lawyers and associations fighting for your case for years and years to get those DNA tests and sometimes they never succeed to get those tests being done. http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/innocence-and-death-penalty
It has been said that half of the black people waiting in the death corridor were innocent. One day in jail costs 500 USD and DNA test maybe 1000, maybe more but nothing compare to the cost of an innocent being jailed for 20 years and to leave a guilty person out of jail.
In France we have a lawyer who said everywhere on TV, in books, that for him, one day in jail for his clients is too much for him. The problem is that, if I am right, he never defended a victim but nearly always murderers and rapists, pedophiles, etc.
In France, a lawyer has to swear on a code of deontology, and a lawyer does not have for mission to help a guilty person to be declared innocent but to help in the process of justice. What was a great idea, to propose a lawyer for a rapist or for a murderer, has been distorted.
A lawyer is there to help the justice to be done.
But it is not what is happening.
This man should not be allowed to be a lawyer anymore if he thinks that his mission is to not make his clients being jailed when they are guilty as he does not seem to perceive his clients as innocent, he said that the guiltiness of his clients is not that important at the end.
However, he is still respected because more your clients are guilty and you made them avoiding jail more you are respected as a brilliant lawyer.
Once again, it is a beautiful idea, the idea of justice, being nearly destroyed.
In Canada I read that a couple who had murdered young girls in the most awful ways had been released from jail after 15 years behind bars. They were called the Barbie and Ken because blond and good looking. https://darkerinthelight.wordpress.com/2009/09/15/the-ken-and-barbie-killers/
So in one country you have poor black people being in the death corridor for one murder they never committed, and in the other country you have a guilty couple, who has been condemned for the murders of young girls, who had been released because this country does not have any death penalty and is very tolerant toward murderers.
The idea of justice does not really exist.
Same for the age of sexual majority. In Spain it has been fixed at 13 years old, in Germany at 14 years old, in France at 15, Switzerland 16, United States 18 years old.
So an adult is considered as a pedophile depending of the country he lives in.
And if the person was 16 years old less one day, the adult is a pedophile or not the Monday or the Tuesday.
It is a non sense. As the consent of the young person is very important and the all situation has to be examined for each case.
I am not attracted with very young men, but I remembered having been harassed and even slapped in the face by a 13 years old kid, who wanted to kiss me at night in the street, I did not know him, it was six years ago in Morocco. I remember one day walking my dog at night, and a teenager masturbating in front of me, it was nine years ago in Switzerland. One was Moroccan, the other one a Swiss blond, they were both cute, the blond one was looking like a model.
I am not attracted with teenagers but if I would have been so I would have been considered as the dominant person abusive.
Not that simple.
So slowly I will talk about this beautiful idea of Couchsurfing and what happened to this beautiful idea.
You cannot prevent a beautiful idea to be exposed to darkness. You cannot erase from the planet rapists and dangerous people.
But the way you handle the situation, is what makes you being judged at the end.
The catholic church is not badly judged to have catholic pedophiles priests, but to have hidden and protected them for years.
Not easy to talk about those topics with radical Catholics.
And on Couchsurfing, it is sometimes the same, it is not easy to talk about safety issues with Couchsurfing, or with the users of Couchsurfing. It is becoming slowly a kind of sect, with people fighting for an idea without facing a certain reality and Couchsurfing acting more and more like the 3 little monkeys, deaf, blind and silent in front of the abuses face by women all over the world every day when using this website and the danger they can meet.
Only 10% of women being raped are going to court or to the police, and on Couchsurfing it seems to be the same.
The women remain silent, scared and the abusers more and more in a powerful position.
I will explain why with precise details being given in the next articles.